I received probably the greatest compliment ever today. As the final day of my Spring Break at home, my mother and I determined it would be a great day to try to do something formulatively family-like and head to Wichita. I have a cousin apparently borrowing some of Vick's prom dresses and as her family lives in Haysville (a suburb of Wichita), we made their house the first stop of the day. My uncle was very pleased to see me, a fellow guitar player, and in the first few moments of pleasantries he says, "You *look* like a rockstar."
*What?* I look like a *what*? A... a... Rockstar?! To be honest, I didn't really listen to a damn word he said after that. I have been hung up on it all day. It made the whole trip down here worth it.
Sadly, I have to announce to all concerned that after much careful thought and consideration after her latest single release "Be Not Nobody," my fiance Vanessa and I must part ways. I simply cannot, in good academic conscience, marry a woman deliberately employing double negatives for commercial gain.
But, this news should not come as any tragic consequence, as it gives way to announce my new intent to marry recording artist Michelle Branch. Upon discovery of her possession of both lovely red hair *and* moderate rocking capabilities, it took mere moments of consideration to identify her as an appropriate companion for now and forever. And if anyone would kindly deliver me her phone number so I can inform her of such intent, our future children would be most thankful.

Spring Break is winding down. Mine has been dull and wholly unproductive. I am very much ready to get back to school and get to recording some of the riffs I worked up idly over time. Additionally, the official word on the Shaft will get established. My personal goal is to have a gameplan and word out to you guys by this time next week. A couple different options, though few and limited, are being considered. After the response to the record (still selling every week despite a complete lack of promotion), I think any efforts we do have will be very well-received and hopefully set us up for a successful summer and fall. Any time a record company would like to pick us up would be nice. Hear me? I'm currently engaged to recording artist Vanessa Carlton! Doesn't that count for anything?!

Recommended listening: "Gulf War Song" by Moxy Fruvous
In the wee hours of today, the Butcher from Beirut ordered an invasion of the Palestinian Authority, effectively putting Arafat under house arrest. Scared? You bet I am.
Not even a day since I discussed my fear of the massive West vs. Muslim war that seems to be hurtling our way with my grandfather, it seems a very deliberate step towards that end was taken. I know a lot of people who are convinced a draft isn't possible, but most of those people aren't strapping single young men of ripe Selective Servicable age.
Me and Lando already have the gameplan laid out. Bolting for Canada the second one of our names come up. The infamous Mr. "Bennie" Hill asked me once in high school, "You mean to tell me Rob that if your country asked for to defend it you wouldn't?"
He looked at me with total disbelief, as though I was some sort of monster he had heard legends about, but never saw in person. He called me a traitor and said he "couldn't believe that" when I gave him my answer.
History would seem to agree with me, Mr. Hill. I'm not going to kill for some unelected white guy's war.

My grandfather, it should be mentioned, is the single coolest man alive. Men all around this great world are all scrambling to even become comparable in levels of coolness with him. But, no matter how good I get at playing guitar, the jokes I learn, or sideburns I grow, all the waitresses *still* flirt with him instead of me! You know how embarrassing it is to get out-moved by a 60+ year old?
But that aside, I visited him and my grandma today like I always do when I'm in town. My Grandpa is a great showman and a really reasonably good guitar player, an example I desperately attempt to follow any time I pick up my guitar around people. He got a truly sonorous old Western voice; an instrument honed at the expense of many a young lady's heart I'm sure. And a guitar sound that has the tone and quality one can only expect from years upon years of experience. A truly good musician.
But, what got me today was talking to him about the world. A greater influence on my personal political views than I realized until today, he is a liberal by strict common sense ("I'm a Democrat because it always seemed like I was working when a Democrat was President"). He has a deep love for different music, different viewpoints, and most of all, talking to different kinds of people. But he said one thing today that I believe was the most common sense political statement I've heard. Not a political man or one to keep up with the news, the thing that baffled him most was, in paraphrase, "I can't understand why they [the US government] won't stop doin' whatever it is that pissed them Mooslims off so much."
I don't understand either Grandpa.

Though I talk a big game, I know she knows she's winning.

What do you do when your life becomes a crappy Top 40 song? Sitting, tucked away in some God forsaken Kansas town, wishing you were with someone else...
But are, in stark contrast, in the horribly painful company of a menopausal sociopath, a shaven toy poodle, and a hyperactive cocker spaniel suffering from Bell's palsy. Any time I get really unmotivated to do something with my life, all I have to do is come home and I immediately realize how important it is that I never move back home again. Stuck in this eerie mix of child photograph decor and post 9/11 superpatriotism, an almost surreal living environment littered with mid-life self-help inspirational texts, shabby-looking country crafts, and a healthy dash of myopic Christianity, one must wonder exactly how my punk ass came out of this woman's uterus.
But, for all my complaints, there are gleaming moments that make me glad to be here. My old bedroom with the galaxy of glow-in-the-dark stars. Mom's occasional physical expression of affection. Home is a nice place to visit, but I don't think I ever lived there.
Right now I just want to walk up, knock on her door, and say, say hello. What would happen next, I don't know.

Sweet merciful Christ, it is about time I was able to update this damn thing. Here's the story for all who wish to know why we almost went nearly a month without an update.
In an attempt to make this whole updating thing easier and keep pages from taking years to load, I tried to implement a little freeware ASP news publishing script. Basically, it would just serve up the last five news items (or .plan entries) and allow for archival services, etc. It was going to be very slick; essentially what the site needed. Welllll...
When installed the script and began setting it up, it crashed and screwed the permissions on the site all to hell. Basically, no one could actually *write* to anything in the Shaft directory. So, at least the site was up... But no one could oh, say, update the news or .plan or *anything*. Though, it was just a simple permission fuckup. Easy to fix right?
Unless you are getting your webspace from South Central Telephone Company (SCTelCom). The webspace for this site is generously donated by Chivalrous Productions, who in turn gets their webspace from SCTelcom, a regional telecommunications provider located in scenic, tropical South Central Kansas. Apparently, they keep the employees with actual problem solving ability locked behind a convoluted labyrinth of deadly booby traps lest some errant customer actually get a solution to a service issue. After two goddamn weeks of calling to try to get the problem solved, I was at absolute wits end. I sent emails and left messages a million times, only to receive no reply. Finally, by some mystic stroke of luck I finally spoke with the "Service Desk Supervisor" who, after some rather strong words concerning the quality of SCTelCom's service, finally got a server adminstrator to do the *two second* task of resetting the permissions on the server. So, at long last, the .plan is back and able to be updated.
A letter from Drew regarding his resignation from the band is currently setting on my desk in Hastings, and as I am back home for Spring Break, the official word will be delayed another week.
As for the future plans of the Shaft, I'll have plenty of time to write about it in the coming days. Yes, we are going on. Yes, we have no idea how.
Jimmy quit, Jodie got married... But I'm still here.

I'd like to announce that I'm in love with Vanessa Carlton. I'm not sure if she's aware of this or not, but we will be getting married sometime in the near future to bear offspring that are capable of rocking in both a geek and classical manner. Our own two-person eugenics program to hatch the next generation of rockstars capable of rocking you in a diverse myriad of fashions leaving the future masses tranquil and harmonious, all entranced by the melody of our children's rock.
Miss Carlton, if you're listening, I have all the attributes of a good companion. I have rocking capabilities comparable to your own, reasonably good dental hygiene, and a partially functional car. I know I'm not perfect, but hey, your single is on the Legally Blonde soundtrack. We all have our little endearing imperfections.
I'm a considerate lover and a badass Trivial Pursuit partner. I don't think there is much else you can ask for in a soulmate. Just give me a call when you're ready. I'll be waiting in my tuxedo.

Man. It really fucking came down today. I mean, this wasn't mere "snow" like you refer to "snow" in some fanciful happy "poem" about "snow." This was a white death army with literally hajillions of little bastards individually making life very difficult to rock in. I thought with all the weird warm weather, we were going to be clear from any truly nasty winter stuff... But, that thought was completely obliterated with the snowflake cascade of today. The Millennium Falcon could barely pull out of the parking lot, which was odd because it was an environmental problem, not just another internal massive mechanical failure.
The .plan as it stands currently is to find another guitar player somewhere and hopefully continue on without Drew. The show next Thursday at Crete is still on, though it will only be me and an acoustic. A lot less than the excitement I have been taunting all of you with, I know, but after a short conversation with H-dog of howie&scott fame we thought it might be sufficient. My head is very likely to explode from intense rocking, as all the rocking that was supposed to occur this weekend. Those in the near vicinity of that show should be expect to be slain by pain of severe rock.
As far as the rest of the tour, things are very much in the air. Drew really left things out to dry. But regardless of what happens, I need to express my full gratitude to everyone who helped to make this record happen and continue to support the music. When we started setting this up I made the goal that we would be out of the state by the end of the summer. This is certainly a setback, but if one or two things go the Shaft's way... And with a lot of help from all of you... I think we can still do it.